Thanks!

I'm Thankful for my family schlepping over to Dorchester to humor my Martha Stewart wannabe Thanksgiving.



I'm Thankful for having a mom who actually taught me how to cook and throw a holiday.

I'm Thankful for my cousins who keep me having fun and hone my parenting skills.

I'm Thankful for my Grandparents, because even though they are "faux", they are unquestionably mine and they are the best.

I'm Thankful for Fuck Holidays. (and all year round)

I'm Thankful for my found kitty who follows me around and loves me even when I don't give her turkey. Also, for the fact that she lovingly endures being repeatedly poked in the nose by a two year old.



I'm Thankful for P Dub's turkey brine, which I used as the base for a kick-ass turkey.


I'm Thankful for wonderful bloggers that I totally love.

And I'm Thankful for anyone who actually still reads this even though I'm a slacker!

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

'Scuses 'scuses

I haven't written anything in forever and if you read the last post you'll know why.

But anyway, since I updated I've continued busting my ass for UPS and took a week off to go to the Happiest Place on Earth!

And it was awesome.

Only it was TOO awesome. It was super warm and full of delicious food and family and chatting it up with Disney characters and the BAM I'm on a plane back to Boston and I'm being sneezed on and woken up by a woman laughing like PeeWee Herman and then it's so cold and I'm back at UPS at 3 am and what the hell happened?!

Transitioning back to reality isn't so much fun, you guys.

But I'm getting back into real life kicking and screaming with my head up, because there's no other choice. I'm mature and grown up like that.

And when my brother and sister in law get around to editing any of the photos they took, I'll share some.
Only that might be a while because they're all sick.

Which is a reminder that as much as real life sucks, it could be worse.

TGI-Almost Friday

So I started working this week. Like, a real live job. I'm working at UPS at the same Hub and shift as Ben but in a different center so we don't really see each other very much. And it didn't take me very long to remember something I had almost forgotten.

I hate working.

It's true. And waking up at 2:30am for the privilege only compounds my hatred. And that means going to bed at around 6:30 Which ends up leaving me about an hour or two to relax get ready for the next day. I go to school with Ben after work and just wait for him to be done since I hate the thought of driving two cars back and forth from Chelmsford on a daily basis. So even if it's my own fault, I have no time to do anything during the week. And then I have to lift all sorts of heavy boxes for hours on end and it makes me whiny and stupid (have you noticed? haha). Only in my head and once I leave work though. Outwardly at work I'm smiley and trying to be positive. If I'm not I'll end up being wholly miserable and nobody likes the miserable bitch. I can't do much about the bitch part (I'm reasonably sure it's genetic) but I refuse to reveal my misery!

I've been really working for 2 days now and today was better than yesterday but there's one thing that hasn't changed. I get really motion sick for about an hour a day. Basically the floor between the trucks and the cages where I get the packages is a big belt. For about a half hour a day they turn on the belt, which happens to run in the opposite direction that the cages move. Which isn't so much fun when you reach into the cages (they are huge) and your upper body is in a cage moving one way and your lower body is being dragged the other so you have to keep stepping. But that's not the real issue. Since that's all I can see, I get instantly looped. The floor is moving one way, the walls are moving another and I'm not actually moving but my body freaks out. It's so odd, rides don't make me sick, boats do nothing to me but shaky movie cameras and other odd visual things send me reeling. It's not so much fun.

But I work through it because I have to and I watch how I'm feeling really closely so I don't puke on anyone's packages. I am technically a temporary employee until they decide to keep me on after the holidays, which they usually do. But if I suck too much, can't do my job or the managers don't like me I'm out.

It's not fun but it's money that will be saving up for me to buy a house and that's what I care about. I can do it so even if I don't like I will. Maybe I'll end up actually posting now that I have all the time to waste while sitting at UML.

LOL

The Big E!

I write these posts in my head before I type them out. So I'm consistently confused when a post I've been mulling over for ages hasn't actually been written yet. What can I say; senility is setting in early...

A few days Almost a month ago, Ben, Lindsay, Bryan and I took my cousins to the middle of nowhere. At least that's where I told them they were going, which wasn't entirely a lie since we had to drive 2 hours out the Mass Pike and I feel secure in saying that that might as well be the middle of nowhere.

However, there happens to be a big ol' fair in the middle of nowhere!

That big ol' fair is otherwise known as The Eastern States Exposition or The Big E. It's basically a state fair for all of New England, or if you're from around Boston, a bigger version of Topsfield.

One of the biggest draws is the fair food and we wasted no time getting down to biz-nass.

Big ass-E Creampuffs


Huge Baked Potatoes from Maine


Corn Dog!

Please excuse the muffin top, bra straps and glazed look. It's the fair, it does things to you.


Actually, it might be the all the "fried" that does things to you.


Only here could you find deep fried peanut butter banana right next to Indian food.


Mmmm Deep Fried....



And we had our share of Deep Fried goodness. I remembered just in time to get a shot of the last deep fried oreo. I wasn't quick enough with the cheesecake. Or the chocolate covered bacon, or the kettle corn or anything else that I can't remember that we clogged our arteries with.


But this was the true heart attack inducing gem. Look closely...


Yes. That is. A bacon cheeseburger on a glazed doughnut.


And this is me carrying a tired (and quite heavy) six year old in a vain attempt to mimic some sort of exercise. It's all about self delusion!

So, it turns out I'm a terrible person!

I never thought it would be easy living with my In-Laws.

I also never thought it would make me so cray-cray.

I grew up in a house full of people so living in another house full of people shouldn't be so bad, right?
Turns out, not so much.

I love Ben's family, honestly I do. I'm very very lucky with the people that were brought into my family when I married him. I just don't love living with them.

To be fair, my own mother and I didn't live together very well. Our relationship improved a lot when we had our own spaces.

I'm not sure what it is about living where I am now that's driving me so crazy but something is. I have a hard time mentioning it to most people because it sounds like I'm bashing my In-Laws and I don't want that. They're great people and I'm truly grateful for everything they are doing for us.

But even loving them and being crazy thankful isn't stopping me from losing my mind. I think part of the problem right now is being home too much. Which is why I'm getting a job. Being home the greater majority of 24/7 with the same two women will drive anyone bananas I think. Even if we don't interact all the time, it's just too much time around people.

The habits are different, their entire family culture is different and it's beginning to wear. And like anything in the past, my time with my own family gets glossed over, the bad times hidden away and suddenly it seems like such a better option.
Then I remember the screaming matches and laugh at my own stupidity.

I think I just don't do well living with other adults. I know part of this is not having my own space. Yes I have my bedroom but that's really just Ben's room, not much about it has changed since he moved in there as a kid. And technically I have the back room, my old bedroom, but right now thats just our storage room and guest room. I can't do much to it to make it my own and even if I did it would have to be open to guests.

Which brings up another thing I knew about myself but didn't really. I'm an only child. I have a touch of only child syndrome.
I didn't think I really did but I guess I do. I don't like sharing my stuff. Or rather I don't like giving out open license to share my stuff. I don't like that my helmet is the nicest one in the garage so it gets used whenever someone wants without asking me. I don't like that my car gets used without asking me. And my stuff includes my plans and whatever it is I'm doing at this very moment. I don't want to every day explain whats happening when I leave the house and who I'm going with and when I walk in the house talk about how it was and if I liked it and what it was like - Oh my god enough! If I want to share, I'll share. I know you're curious but for the love of god the constant game of 20 questions is killing me. I realize that this is part of being in a family but I'm having control issues.

I don't like that I'm having issues with this, it makes me feel crappy. Ben's family are good people, we can't be annoyed with good people right?

But I am and I need to find a way of dealing with it because I'm far to practical for anything else. The fact is, living here is saving us a lot of money that would otherwise be lost to rent and bills. When we come out of this, we'll have (hopefully, if things go right) a big down payment and be able to start things off smoothly. I know these things and I'm very attached to these things. To write huge checks out every month knowing that I could be living mostly cost free would kill me worse than living here does.

Every now and then though I just need to vent.

You're a Kitty!!

There are so many things I need to talk about. The fact that I'm making changes about what I'm eating and losing weight (and fighting myself every step of the way), the awesome time I had last weekend, how I'm trying to get a job and may or may not have had a terrible interview at 5am this morning and I'm going to Disney in 29 days, 20 hours, 48 minutes and 42-ish seconds (but who's counting!?)

But all I can focus on right now is this little love muffin.

She showed up on the back porch this morning and hasn't left. And as you can see, she's made herself quite comfortable. And I love her. She obviously belongs to someone, or at least she did. She has a flea collar and is so friendly. Like, - "Oh mah god pet me is that another hand? Why isn't it petting me? Can I sit on your lap? Thanks! Actually this isn't close enough *snugglesnuggle* Closer! Let me turn to a puddle of mush in your lap so I can be as close as possible! Moar Pettings!"- friendly.

The world is obviously tormenting me. I've been wanting a nice lovey kitty for so long. I tell Ben all the time "I just want a nice cat!" Even though we have two cats, niether of them is super lovey. Well Coquetita is, but in a different way. She's so not a lap cat she just wants her head scratched always. But niether of them is what I would consider a people cat. Butterscotch likes mom and he'll use other people when she's not around but I don't think he's particularly friendly.

But this little girl! She's all about being with you, or on you or on what your doing and she isn't so pushy that she won't go away but if you're willing to give her attention she is more than willing to accept it.

And I love her. She's shoft and fluffy and I want her.

And I can't have her.
Even if she didn't already have a home, the other two cats are territorial and mean.

But I still love her.

And I still want her.

And this is why I need my own house.


P.S. If you don't get the reference in the title, go here. It's funny because it's true. Hover over the comic for extra funny :)

Also, I wrote most of this post a few days ago. Bella- short for Bellatrix because this lovey kitty is secretly evil, and because she's so damn pretty- is still coming around and things may be looking up for me. Here's hoping she ends up being mine! She'd be an answered prayer for sure :)

Madi Diaz & The Civil Wars

I must say, seeing live music - fantastic live music, is the best way to spend a wednesday night ever. It makes it even better if one of the people singing that live music is a friend of yours who you haven't seen in ages.

The night started of rather inauspicious. I almost ended up going by myself but my Aunt Lindsay pulled through at the final hour. So we started of a tad late but made good time into Cambridge. The problem came when we finally made it the right block on Mass Ave and for the life of us couldn't figure out where the club was. We were sure it was an even number address and we were sure it must be right and front of us so we parked and walked down the street. We made it a bit before we just asked someone for directions, at which point they raised an eyebrow at us and pointed directly across the street to a building with a giant lizard on it.

Did I mention they played at the Lizard Lounge? Yeah. GO us!

So anyway, even though we were late we got in before the Civil Wars started their set. And when they began I was blown away. I knew anyone Madi was touring with would be decent at least so I didn't bother checking them out before hand. So it was a more than pleasant surprise when they began singing and not only were they better than decent, they were amazing. Apparently, their song Poison and Wine was on Grey's Anatomy and it doesn't surprise me because it's great, and it's deep.

As great as they were though, I was bouncing inside for Madi to take the floor. Lindsay and I both worked with Madi several years ago at the Pour House in Boston. Back then I managed to finagle a copy of her demo and haven't stopped listening to her since. I've never been able to catch one of her shows though until tonight. So despite the fact that I'm leaving in a few hours for a trip to the Adirondacks, there was no way I was missing this show. And thank goodness because seeing her live cemented it.

I fucking love Madi Diaz.

I wish I could buy out the whole club and make all my friends and family come and watch her so I can fangirl over her and they'll know what I mean. I mean even the Russian Judge would give her at least a 9.5. She's awesome. Not only does she crank out beautiful tunes like nobody's business, she's a total babe and she's got a kickass personality. She's real and she's amazing and I fucking love her. Period.

Now go listen to her shit and tell me you love it.

You may want to lie to me if you're crazy and don't, because I'll more than likely just try to school you on why you're crazy and wrong. :D