Wednesday, March 31, 2010


I have a not talking problem. It loses me friends, people think I'm mad at them. It makes my blog sit empty for days on end. Some people understand.
My best friend is a girl I've been friends with since 5th grade. She's a not talker too. We used to sit on the phone with each other, not saying anything, for hours at a time. It drove our parents crazy but it made sense to us. In the time we've been friends there have been periods of years at a time that we haven't spoken. In the year and a half before I got engaged, I hadn't spoken a single word to her. And yet after we left the spot where we got engaged, we went right to her house and showed her and there wasn't even a hint of awkwardness. No tinge of ill will that I hadn't been in touch. Not a moments hesitation on either side when I asked her to be my bridesmaid. Just catching up. And that sort of downtime has happened since then too. Lately we've been together more, as we walk through life and others who we think are close to us leave us in the dust. As we learn more and more how rare our friendship is. We are on equal footing. Neither of us is reliant on the other for anything more than some quality time now and then. Neither of us has the upper hand. We know that despite the fact that we may not speak for even years at time, when one of us finally does pick up the phone, or show up at the others door, that we will pick up right where we left off. It's taken me quite a few years to find out who really matters in my life. And even longer to realize how important it is to focus your energy and love on those people and not the ones who are less deserving. It's hard to stop focusing energy where people don't deserve or appreciate it. Especially when you know that the ones you ignore will be there for you anyway. But I'm trying. Hard. I'm sure this won't be the end of my lessons but I'm glad that this is one I've learned.