Mattress Mayhem

We bought a new mattress set and it's not going well. The title isn't actually fair, the mattress itself caused a least amount of mayhem. The real issue, the bane of my new bed existance is the mother loving box spring.

The stupid box spring won't fit up the stairs to the third floor, where my bedroom is. So we tried the easy stuff like moving the 500lb book case and then we realized it wasn't happening. So we admitted defeat and called to see how much it would be to exchange the queen box spring for a twin split. Oh sure the Macy's people said, no problem! Lets see you bought the set on sale for just under $400 and it's not on sale any more so a twin split costs just $887! Plus a delivery fee of course.

Cue a prompt hanging up of the phone and the engineering minds, of which there are many, in the house going into overdrive. I immediately went to the trusty interwebs and found lots of instructions on how to cut a box spring in half, fold it, move it and reinforce it back to normal.

Perfect! Nay, nay said the engineering minds.

Oh? So what shall we do then? Their two best options were to take out the door frame and chop up a wall OR cut a door sized hole in the back of the house on the third floor which would then be covered in plastic and dealt with God only knows when. Did I mention it was after 9pm, below freezing and snowing? And chopping a giant hole in the side of the house was a viable option.

At this point I said - Hey! Lets go buy some plywood and we can put that down on the frame and deal with this tomorrow? NAY! How about we have my uncle build a platform bed and we can sell the still wrapped in plastic box spring on craigslist? NAY!

Since it was dark, and I'm fairly sure this was the only factor here, they decided to forego chopping a giant hole in the side of the house.

In the end, despite their best attempts at chopping the house to bits, the box spring never made it up those stairs last night.

Instead I ended up with this.



And when I tried to put the sheets on I realized the label said something I hadn't seen before.



600 thread count egyptian cotton? Nothing wrong with that. It's the words below it that caused the trouble. The ones that tell me that I could fit my mattress and box spring in the sheet and still have 4 inches of room left over. Do people really have 20" thick mattresses?

And in the end I didn't even end up sleeping on my nice new mattress on the floor because when we took it out of the plastic, my nice new mattress smelled like a bunch of not so nice chemicals and instantly gave me a headache.

So in the end I had this.


A chunk out of the wall...


A missing door frame...


And sleeping in a bunch of blankets on my living room floor.

Which was, pathetically, my husband and I agree, more comfortable than my old mattress. And now this morning, we are in the process of taking apart the box spring to fit it up the stairs. Sound like a familiar plan?

And while I realize that this voids the warranty, since the mattress would essentially have to come alive and murder you in your sleep for it to be covered anyway, I'm not too concerned.

I Needs Them!!

I was so excited when I saw these pop up in my Google Reader.



My excitement was short lived though because the Urban Outfitters Page that has them won't work.

I'm not giving up yet though. If anyone needs these ornaments it's my family!

A Holly Jolly Christmas

We went very Martha for our Christmas decorations this year. Not only did we make them ourselves, my MIL and I actually cut all the holly we used off the bushes in our backyard.

So now we can feel superior for not only being crafty but for being green too. ;)

SIL made a wreath for the back door. We left it on the inside so we could see it :D


MIL made a wreath for the front door.



I made a ...swag? thing? for over the windows in the kitchen.


And MIL and I collaborated to make another swag-thing for over the doorway to the living room.



So there you go, my crafty contribution to the holidays!

Things I learned this weekend

1. If you eat crap all weekend, you will feel like crap by Monday. The feeling may be proportional to the amount of crap eaten.

2. Doritos with Cream Cheese doesn't become not-crap just because you used Neufchatel.

3. Things generally aren't as delicious as you remember them being when you were a kid. See above.

4. Using older kids to entertain and occupy younger kids is full of win.

5. Three kids with a 5 year age gap each is just about perfect for this.

6. Hiding presents at the back of the tree doesn't work. The 2 Year old will simply climb under the tree.

7. When someone in your household asks you to keep a few of those Oreo truffles rather than sending them all to work with your husband, say no. Or say yes and do it anyway. Otherwise they will taunt you from the cake dish.

8. When it comes to leftover Konditor Meister cake, this too will taunt you. And there is no way to get your brain on board that eating it will only make that crap feeling worse.

9. If you cram 20ish people into your first floor and cook all day, it actually gets warm! However, this only makes it feel colder the next day.

10. Life gets boring when the kids and everyone leaves. Luckily, this will only last until this weekend. :D

Like a Chicken with her head cut off

I've been home during the day lately. This should be awesome but it just leaves me overwhelmed instead. I feel like there's tons of stuff I should be doing but I don't actually know what to do.

I've got a (group) interview on Thursday with jetBlue. I would absolutely love to get this job and it's stressing me out beyond belief. What do I say, what do I not say, do I have anything to wear now that I've dropped almost 40lbs? I need to get my nails done so I don't look like a raggamuffun. I need to get my eyebrows done so I don't look like a troll. I need to find something to wear that doesn't make me look like A. I'm playing dress-up in my mommy's clothes or B. I've just crawled out of the buy by the pound pile at the Garment District.

So long story short, I've been feeling overwhelmed, more than a little useless and panicking about getting this job. FUN!

In the midst of this, I'm trying to be upbeat about the holidays. I'm excited for Christmas but I feel like I just want it to be here already. There's too much prep and fluff before the actual fun happens. And I can't help but feel as though I'm putting to many of my eggs into the "Yay- Christmas!!" basket and I'm going to end up being really disappointed come the 26th. So for now I'm just trying to keep my head up and think positively. Everything is going to be great! Right? RIGHT. Maybe.

Well that was a fun post. How about some Pictures!?


This kitty keeps me sane. Or alternately drives me crazy.


This (I think) is a juvenile red tailed hawk that has been hanging out in our neighbors back yard. I think he's scanning their back wall for rats and mice.


This was taken on the ferry from Vermont to New York as Ben and I were driving to the farm this summer. It was warm and we had not only a long weekend away ahead of us, but the next 48 hours of that to ourselves. It was lovely.

Thanks!

I'm Thankful for my family schlepping over to Dorchester to humor my Martha Stewart wannabe Thanksgiving.



I'm Thankful for having a mom who actually taught me how to cook and throw a holiday.

I'm Thankful for my cousins who keep me having fun and hone my parenting skills.

I'm Thankful for my Grandparents, because even though they are "faux", they are unquestionably mine and they are the best.

I'm Thankful for Fuck Holidays. (and all year round)

I'm Thankful for my found kitty who follows me around and loves me even when I don't give her turkey. Also, for the fact that she lovingly endures being repeatedly poked in the nose by a two year old.



I'm Thankful for P Dub's turkey brine, which I used as the base for a kick-ass turkey.


I'm Thankful for wonderful bloggers that I totally love.

And I'm Thankful for anyone who actually still reads this even though I'm a slacker!

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

'Scuses 'scuses

I haven't written anything in forever and if you read the last post you'll know why.

But anyway, since I updated I've continued busting my ass for UPS and took a week off to go to the Happiest Place on Earth!

And it was awesome.

Only it was TOO awesome. It was super warm and full of delicious food and family and chatting it up with Disney characters and the BAM I'm on a plane back to Boston and I'm being sneezed on and woken up by a woman laughing like PeeWee Herman and then it's so cold and I'm back at UPS at 3 am and what the hell happened?!

Transitioning back to reality isn't so much fun, you guys.

But I'm getting back into real life kicking and screaming with my head up, because there's no other choice. I'm mature and grown up like that.

And when my brother and sister in law get around to editing any of the photos they took, I'll share some.
Only that might be a while because they're all sick.

Which is a reminder that as much as real life sucks, it could be worse.

TGI-Almost Friday

So I started working this week. Like, a real live job. I'm working at UPS at the same Hub and shift as Ben but in a different center so we don't really see each other very much. And it didn't take me very long to remember something I had almost forgotten.

I hate working.

It's true. And waking up at 2:30am for the privilege only compounds my hatred. And that means going to bed at around 6:30 Which ends up leaving me about an hour or two to relax get ready for the next day. I go to school with Ben after work and just wait for him to be done since I hate the thought of driving two cars back and forth from Chelmsford on a daily basis. So even if it's my own fault, I have no time to do anything during the week. And then I have to lift all sorts of heavy boxes for hours on end and it makes me whiny and stupid (have you noticed? haha). Only in my head and once I leave work though. Outwardly at work I'm smiley and trying to be positive. If I'm not I'll end up being wholly miserable and nobody likes the miserable bitch. I can't do much about the bitch part (I'm reasonably sure it's genetic) but I refuse to reveal my misery!

I've been really working for 2 days now and today was better than yesterday but there's one thing that hasn't changed. I get really motion sick for about an hour a day. Basically the floor between the trucks and the cages where I get the packages is a big belt. For about a half hour a day they turn on the belt, which happens to run in the opposite direction that the cages move. Which isn't so much fun when you reach into the cages (they are huge) and your upper body is in a cage moving one way and your lower body is being dragged the other so you have to keep stepping. But that's not the real issue. Since that's all I can see, I get instantly looped. The floor is moving one way, the walls are moving another and I'm not actually moving but my body freaks out. It's so odd, rides don't make me sick, boats do nothing to me but shaky movie cameras and other odd visual things send me reeling. It's not so much fun.

But I work through it because I have to and I watch how I'm feeling really closely so I don't puke on anyone's packages. I am technically a temporary employee until they decide to keep me on after the holidays, which they usually do. But if I suck too much, can't do my job or the managers don't like me I'm out.

It's not fun but it's money that will be saving up for me to buy a house and that's what I care about. I can do it so even if I don't like I will. Maybe I'll end up actually posting now that I have all the time to waste while sitting at UML.

LOL

The Big E!

I write these posts in my head before I type them out. So I'm consistently confused when a post I've been mulling over for ages hasn't actually been written yet. What can I say; senility is setting in early...

A few days Almost a month ago, Ben, Lindsay, Bryan and I took my cousins to the middle of nowhere. At least that's where I told them they were going, which wasn't entirely a lie since we had to drive 2 hours out the Mass Pike and I feel secure in saying that that might as well be the middle of nowhere.

However, there happens to be a big ol' fair in the middle of nowhere!

That big ol' fair is otherwise known as The Eastern States Exposition or The Big E. It's basically a state fair for all of New England, or if you're from around Boston, a bigger version of Topsfield.

One of the biggest draws is the fair food and we wasted no time getting down to biz-nass.

Big ass-E Creampuffs


Huge Baked Potatoes from Maine


Corn Dog!

Please excuse the muffin top, bra straps and glazed look. It's the fair, it does things to you.


Actually, it might be the all the "fried" that does things to you.


Only here could you find deep fried peanut butter banana right next to Indian food.


Mmmm Deep Fried....



And we had our share of Deep Fried goodness. I remembered just in time to get a shot of the last deep fried oreo. I wasn't quick enough with the cheesecake. Or the chocolate covered bacon, or the kettle corn or anything else that I can't remember that we clogged our arteries with.


But this was the true heart attack inducing gem. Look closely...


Yes. That is. A bacon cheeseburger on a glazed doughnut.


And this is me carrying a tired (and quite heavy) six year old in a vain attempt to mimic some sort of exercise. It's all about self delusion!

So, it turns out I'm a terrible person!

I never thought it would be easy living with my In-Laws.

I also never thought it would make me so cray-cray.

I grew up in a house full of people so living in another house full of people shouldn't be so bad, right?
Turns out, not so much.

I love Ben's family, honestly I do. I'm very very lucky with the people that were brought into my family when I married him. I just don't love living with them.

To be fair, my own mother and I didn't live together very well. Our relationship improved a lot when we had our own spaces.

I'm not sure what it is about living where I am now that's driving me so crazy but something is. I have a hard time mentioning it to most people because it sounds like I'm bashing my In-Laws and I don't want that. They're great people and I'm truly grateful for everything they are doing for us.

But even loving them and being crazy thankful isn't stopping me from losing my mind. I think part of the problem right now is being home too much. Which is why I'm getting a job. Being home the greater majority of 24/7 with the same two women will drive anyone bananas I think. Even if we don't interact all the time, it's just too much time around people.

The habits are different, their entire family culture is different and it's beginning to wear. And like anything in the past, my time with my own family gets glossed over, the bad times hidden away and suddenly it seems like such a better option.
Then I remember the screaming matches and laugh at my own stupidity.

I think I just don't do well living with other adults. I know part of this is not having my own space. Yes I have my bedroom but that's really just Ben's room, not much about it has changed since he moved in there as a kid. And technically I have the back room, my old bedroom, but right now thats just our storage room and guest room. I can't do much to it to make it my own and even if I did it would have to be open to guests.

Which brings up another thing I knew about myself but didn't really. I'm an only child. I have a touch of only child syndrome.
I didn't think I really did but I guess I do. I don't like sharing my stuff. Or rather I don't like giving out open license to share my stuff. I don't like that my helmet is the nicest one in the garage so it gets used whenever someone wants without asking me. I don't like that my car gets used without asking me. And my stuff includes my plans and whatever it is I'm doing at this very moment. I don't want to every day explain whats happening when I leave the house and who I'm going with and when I walk in the house talk about how it was and if I liked it and what it was like - Oh my god enough! If I want to share, I'll share. I know you're curious but for the love of god the constant game of 20 questions is killing me. I realize that this is part of being in a family but I'm having control issues.

I don't like that I'm having issues with this, it makes me feel crappy. Ben's family are good people, we can't be annoyed with good people right?

But I am and I need to find a way of dealing with it because I'm far to practical for anything else. The fact is, living here is saving us a lot of money that would otherwise be lost to rent and bills. When we come out of this, we'll have (hopefully, if things go right) a big down payment and be able to start things off smoothly. I know these things and I'm very attached to these things. To write huge checks out every month knowing that I could be living mostly cost free would kill me worse than living here does.

Every now and then though I just need to vent.

You're a Kitty!!

There are so many things I need to talk about. The fact that I'm making changes about what I'm eating and losing weight (and fighting myself every step of the way), the awesome time I had last weekend, how I'm trying to get a job and may or may not have had a terrible interview at 5am this morning and I'm going to Disney in 29 days, 20 hours, 48 minutes and 42-ish seconds (but who's counting!?)

But all I can focus on right now is this little love muffin.

She showed up on the back porch this morning and hasn't left. And as you can see, she's made herself quite comfortable. And I love her. She obviously belongs to someone, or at least she did. She has a flea collar and is so friendly. Like, - "Oh mah god pet me is that another hand? Why isn't it petting me? Can I sit on your lap? Thanks! Actually this isn't close enough *snugglesnuggle* Closer! Let me turn to a puddle of mush in your lap so I can be as close as possible! Moar Pettings!"- friendly.

The world is obviously tormenting me. I've been wanting a nice lovey kitty for so long. I tell Ben all the time "I just want a nice cat!" Even though we have two cats, niether of them is super lovey. Well Coquetita is, but in a different way. She's so not a lap cat she just wants her head scratched always. But niether of them is what I would consider a people cat. Butterscotch likes mom and he'll use other people when she's not around but I don't think he's particularly friendly.

But this little girl! She's all about being with you, or on you or on what your doing and she isn't so pushy that she won't go away but if you're willing to give her attention she is more than willing to accept it.

And I love her. She's shoft and fluffy and I want her.

And I can't have her.
Even if she didn't already have a home, the other two cats are territorial and mean.

But I still love her.

And I still want her.

And this is why I need my own house.


P.S. If you don't get the reference in the title, go here. It's funny because it's true. Hover over the comic for extra funny :)

Also, I wrote most of this post a few days ago. Bella- short for Bellatrix because this lovey kitty is secretly evil, and because she's so damn pretty- is still coming around and things may be looking up for me. Here's hoping she ends up being mine! She'd be an answered prayer for sure :)

Madi Diaz & The Civil Wars

I must say, seeing live music - fantastic live music, is the best way to spend a wednesday night ever. It makes it even better if one of the people singing that live music is a friend of yours who you haven't seen in ages.

The night started of rather inauspicious. I almost ended up going by myself but my Aunt Lindsay pulled through at the final hour. So we started of a tad late but made good time into Cambridge. The problem came when we finally made it the right block on Mass Ave and for the life of us couldn't figure out where the club was. We were sure it was an even number address and we were sure it must be right and front of us so we parked and walked down the street. We made it a bit before we just asked someone for directions, at which point they raised an eyebrow at us and pointed directly across the street to a building with a giant lizard on it.

Did I mention they played at the Lizard Lounge? Yeah. GO us!

So anyway, even though we were late we got in before the Civil Wars started their set. And when they began I was blown away. I knew anyone Madi was touring with would be decent at least so I didn't bother checking them out before hand. So it was a more than pleasant surprise when they began singing and not only were they better than decent, they were amazing. Apparently, their song Poison and Wine was on Grey's Anatomy and it doesn't surprise me because it's great, and it's deep.

As great as they were though, I was bouncing inside for Madi to take the floor. Lindsay and I both worked with Madi several years ago at the Pour House in Boston. Back then I managed to finagle a copy of her demo and haven't stopped listening to her since. I've never been able to catch one of her shows though until tonight. So despite the fact that I'm leaving in a few hours for a trip to the Adirondacks, there was no way I was missing this show. And thank goodness because seeing her live cemented it.

I fucking love Madi Diaz.

I wish I could buy out the whole club and make all my friends and family come and watch her so I can fangirl over her and they'll know what I mean. I mean even the Russian Judge would give her at least a 9.5. She's awesome. Not only does she crank out beautiful tunes like nobody's business, she's a total babe and she's got a kickass personality. She's real and she's amazing and I fucking love her. Period.

Now go listen to her shit and tell me you love it.

You may want to lie to me if you're crazy and don't, because I'll more than likely just try to school you on why you're crazy and wrong. :D

Apple and Oranges

I have an excuse I swear!

It's even a good excuse. My computer has been out of commission all week.

I woke up Monday morning to it showing no signs of life. At. All.

Panic ensued would have ensued if I hadn't been covered by AppleCare.

Instead I strutted down to the Apple store, pushed my way past the throngs of hooligans playing bejeweled on the iPods and distraught old ladies wondering why the laptop they haven't charged in weeks won't turn on and told a "genius" what was up.They took it in and gave it to me the next day wherein it proceeded to work perfectly until I noticed it wasn't. Which was the next morning.

So then I got a bit annoyed because when I get my computer back from being "fixed" all my lights should work and it shouldn't be overheating, right? Right.

Luckily, the genius agreed with me and told me that my lights hadn't been hooked up properly and that he was very sorry but if the person who "fixed" it hadn't remembered to reattach the lights then they might not have done the not-overheating-the-motherboard-thingy right either and would I mind very much if they kept it overnight to take it apart again and make sure it really was fixed? He then told us, and this is key, to "call if you haven't heard from us tomorrow, I'll make sure this gets looked at tonight."

So once again I left my lifeline at the genius bar and walked shakily all the way home, unaware of anything but the absence of my computer back to my car where Ben proceeded to drive me home and I went to bed early because I was bored.

We hadn't heard anything by 1pm so we called to see what was up and then Apple let me down. When we asked about our computer, the rudey, 'tudey (and not in the fresh and fruity delicious IHOP way) guy on the phone told us "your computer hasn't even been looked at yet. There are 20 computers in front of you. We'll call you when it's ready." Hold up, did I just hear you right?Is this PC pretending to be Mac? The cute hipster dude is gonna walk out any second now right? What? This is really Apple? My love, my life, provider of all things fun and friendly? You guys are the ones who effed it up this time. I know I may have had you guys fix my computer before from toddlers stepping on it and my using it in bed with the fans all smothered by blankets but this time wasn't my fault!

So Ben and I were all riled up and we went to the mall to yell at someone in person. By the time we reached the mall Ben wasn't angry anymore and started to politely ask about our computer. But I was still pissed and so of course cut him off letting the very large, nice and now very confused man know, in a calm but obviously very annoyed manner, exactly why they were wrong in having 20 computers in front of us, unless of course they had also managed to screw up those 20 before they wreaked havoc on ours. Nice man smiled and nodded and took all my very calm but annoyed ranting and then went to go check on my computer. After a few minutes he came back out and told me they were waiting for a new fan and it should be done today, tomorrow at the very latest.

...

Oh. Ok. Why couldn't Rudy McGrumpyphoneanswerer just say that? I then managed to further confuse large, nice man by Smiling and thanking him and being perfectly fine with that answer when he obviously expected to have to deal with some wrath.

And I got my computer back today. They replaced the fan and the logicboard and everyone was wonderful and nice in their blue shirts just like it should be. And despite what people may say about this being a post against Apple and their products, this is exactly why I buy Apple. Because these are computers. They are going to break, and when they do I want to be able to run to the mall and cry at someone who will take it and tell me it'll be all better and give it back to me within a few days even when they have to replace the motherboard and the fan and whatever else. And thanks to AppleCare I didn't have to pay for it. Yes, I paid for it when I bought the computer but with this repair alone it paid for itself over 5 times. I don't expect electronics not to break, but I expect good service when they do. And yes the guy on the phone was a jerk but you know what? I was shocked by it. I would have not have been at all shocked by that sort of treatment had I been dealing with Best Buy or Dell Techs or whoever else. I don't have to call and talk to some bored Indian half a world away who'l have to repeat everything twice and will ask me to restart my computer and see if it helps. Yeah thanks, I tried that. I can deal with people who are 15 minutes away and 9 times out of 10 I'll walk away smiling.

So that's my excuse, which turned into a rant, which turned into a rave for Apple products. I'm a fangirl, what can I say.

And at some point I really will put those pictures to use and write the post I've been planning. Probably.

Pictures make everything better. Or they did until now.

I was doing so well! I had the blogging thing down and then- Boom! I missed a few days, got discouraged and didn't ever want to come back. But that's stupid so here, look at some pictures while I spend the next day or two getting together my next post. I took pictures specifically for it and everything, it might even be worth reading :D

Until then let's ignore the fact that I haven't posted in weeks and look at some pictures!

I took this at night near Ft, Sewall in Marblehead.Night shots are cool! Right? Right?!


The aftermath of the July 4th fireworks in Winthrop. They unsurprisingly lit the park on fire. It's practically tradition.


A suitably dramatic picture I took of Davey Havok of AFI at a show in RI. They are so good in concert.


I definitely may or may not have a Sonic "problem"


Let this be a lesson. Always check the freezer before buying more Ice Cream! Even when you're feeding 14 people.


These are tiny little grapes! Champagne grapes. They're TINY!


Now aren't you glad I posted? Your life feels more complete now that you've seen these pictures doesn't it? you're a changed person now that you've seen tiny grapes, a flamboyant rock star and know that I visit Sonic far too much.

I often have that sort of enlightening effect on people.



I also tend to get this look whenever I say that.

Sunday Snippets (a day late!)

* We got a new washing machine this week because the other one started spilling water all over the floor. Our experience getting it delivered was horrible but the new machine is glorious. It spins the clothes so well that even though we don't have a new dryer, the clothes dry in far less time than they used to.

The washer is a happy little washer and sings a short little song when you turn it on and a longer song to let you know when your load is done.

YouTube saved me from having to record that little ditty myself!

*My family makes fun of me and my husband because we don't think twice about long roadtrips. They like to say we'd drive hours for a burger just to turn around and come back and they're probably right. We drove to albany and back on thursday to pick up my SIL and niece so they could be here a day earlier.


It was totally worth it because this little girl is better than a burger and when you combine her with a third trip (in three days) to the scooper bowl, that's about as good as it gets!

* I don't mind that I went to the scooperbowl and paid for 3 days because it goes to the Jimmy Fund and Cancer sucks. And Ciao Bella was there.

*If you like "that's what she said" then you'll enjoy this. Alfred Hitchcock was so before his time!

*In preparation for the new washer, SIL and I cleaned out and repainted the laundry area and the sorted through plethora of cleaning bottles and aparatus that lined the shelves. In doing so, in the far back we found these.


There were more, but these were the funniest I thought.
Any guesses on what year these were from? I'm curious to see how your guesses match up with ours!

Honoring Life

The past few weeks have been crazy. The proverbial roller coaster of ups and downs. Since my last post I've attended two different funerals. The first was for my pastor. The second was for my Great Aunt. Both of these depressing events were sandwiched between wonderful, fun experiences. The night before my pastor's funeral, I went to a rock concert with two friends and we had a great time and made some great memories. The days after were spent happily again, cooking, hanging out, celebrating the holiday and enjoying life. This saturday my Aunt passed away somewhat suddenly, also from cancer. Her services were yesterday and today and yesterday and today I went to the Scooper Bowl on Boston City Hall Plaza.

I spent a lot of time thinking about whether or not it was appropriate to do these things and came to one conclusion, they would have wanted me to. At the very least, I doubt either of them would have minded and here's why. Both my pastor and my aunt were wonderful people. They were devoted and kind people and as much as they were different, they shared a lot of the same important traits. They were both so invested in their churches. They were both kind people, the sort of person that makes you feel a little better when you talk to them. But what they really shared was their sense of community and their importance in relationships. After my pastor's funeral, I felt like crawling into bed and not getting out until things made sense again. But I realized that in doing that I wasn't respecting my pastor. He was all about doing things together and building meaningful relationships, he would not have wanted me to skip the opportunities for that for any reason. My Aunt too emphasized relationships with her family and although I didn't know her as well as I would have liked, I know enough to know that, as a teacher herself, she would not have begrudged me chaperoning a group of kids to celebrate their moving up or getting together with a close friend I have been missing.

Both my pastor and aunt were, to me, good people. They put what really mattered first and that was always people. I have no doubt that world is a sadder place without their smiles and love to brighten it, but I know that as we move forward, that reflecting on the way that they lived their lives and trying to emulate that goodness and community building is a far better way to respect their memories than holing ourselves up and stewing over the unfairness of it all.

And another thing, the Scooper Bowl benefits the Jimmy Fund and I'm up for anything that tries to beat down cancer. I've had more than enough of it taking people I care about.

What is it about you that makes me act like this?

I made Baked Macaroni and Cheese for dinner today. I know why I did it, but it was still a terrible idea. It was almost 90 degrees out and here I was with the oven on full blast, boiling macaroni and stirring a hot pot of cheese. If you were ever wondering what meal is the worst to prepare in the heat, Baked mac and cheese gets my vote. But my husband asked for it and so I made it.

It's funny, sometimes I would laugh in his face and call him an idiot for even suggesting it, and other times (like today, apparently) I'll do it just because he asks. Sometimes, like today, I'm an awesome wife. I make him snacks for when he wakes up and I decorate bags like this one.


But other times, I'm seriously mean. At those times, "Please don't leave me" by P!nk becomes my theme song. "I can be so mean when I wanna be, I am capable of really anything, I can cut you into pieces" Just about says it all.

So sometimes I'm an awesome, kickass wife and other times I'm a not so awesome get away from me or I'm gonna kick your ass wife. There must be a happy medium and hopefully eventually I'll find it.

Until then, every once in a while, I'll bake my husband mac and cheese on a 90 day and leave him love notes on his lunch bags. God only knows he deserves it, and right now I'm all about trying to appreciate what I have.

Sunday Snippets

1. I'm so grateful for all the support I got about my last post. It means a lot.

2. On that note, remember to hug the ones you love, don't take any time with them for granted.

3. I spent a lot of time this week with a certain couple of people I love. One of them learned a new trick called hitting. It was interesting to see her thinking things through and her behavior evolve (not necessarily always for the better) as I tried to teach her that "We don't hit. We do gentle with out hands." :P

4. Back to my first note - Quality time doesn't have to be sappy. As I mentioned in this post, swearing at each other can be a bonding experience too. Like when I told my SIL to eff off as I waved goodbye today. It makes some people (like my MIL) cringe, but it works for us.

5. According to our Children's Museum membership, my SIL and I are a couple. We have three kids ages 12, 6 and 1. We were apparently very busy teenagers! (In related news, I'm a Children's Museum member which means I can bring a bunch of people with me whenever I go, so tell me if you want to go - I'm not averse to be used when I get to spend time with people!)

6. I got a Venus Fly Trap from the Children's Museum today. I captured ants from the yard and sadistically giggled as I fed them to it. I can't wait until it opens again so I can feed it again! Maybe I'll video it, it's very cool! Don't they look wonderfully monstrous?



7. My cleavage can double as a cup holder. This come in handy when we go to Sonic and order twice as many Rt 44's as we have cup holders.

8. I found this in the back of the fridge this week. I was both horrified and fascinated by how much mold there can be while seemingly fresh strawberry is still there.



9. I went on a spider killing spree a few nights ago. My BIL couldn't step up to the plate so through hyperventilating I grabbed the Lysol and sprayed 3 spiders to death. I threw another one out the door on the end of my pizza board. For a few moments I had my shit together and was a killing machine! Then I got all twitchy and paranoid. These were spiders of doom and I'm convinced these were sent to get me by the Spiders of Death.

10. I can't think of anything else so here're some pictures of my gratuitously cute niece :)


11. I meant to only go to 10 but I forgot to mention that I went to the Hot Dog Safari today. It was a bit of a let down compared to previous years. They raised the price $5, which is fine, it's for charity anyway, but they also made drinks $1 which would have been fine if it hadn't been small cups of yucky fountain soda. My big qualm was that it didn't open at 9am like it usually does. It opened at 12 this year and it was a big crowded mess. Usually we've come and gone by 12 when it becomes a madhouse and it just wasn't as enjoyable with all the rudeness in the crowd. That didn't stop me from eating copious (read: too many) hot dogs, cups of pot pie etc.

What goes around doesn't always come around soon enough...

It feels so wrong to be posting this. That only a few days after posting such a lighthearted story about my own family that I could be writing a post lamenting the tragedy in another. This morning the pastor from my church died. He had Stage IV colon cancer. He was young, his wife is young, they have three young boys. Their youngest is around 4 and I'm left wondering how much he will remember of his father. I hope that he will remember a lot. I hope that what he does not remember of him, we will be able to fill in. That we will all remember him. He was kind, so very smart, and seemed to have a special talent for getting people hyped about the goodness and joy that we experience and how to share it. He and his wife are some of the friendliest, most gracious and caring people I have ever had the honor of meeting. It sounds cliche, to be sure, but I swear to you it's true. They are better people than I could ever imagine being.

I watched his sons grow up, I remember his oldest boy as a baby, coming home from Brazil on a mission trip that my husband went on when we were in High School. The next time I saw him, he was nowhere near a baby and he had two younger brothers. I marveled at how a few short years changed things. I marvel now at how a single day can change things. It is incredibly unreal to me that I will never agin see him walking down the hall, that he will never again ask me how I've been and I will know without a doubt that he cares about my response. He was the sort of person that made you want to do things with your life just so that you could make him smile, but you knew that if you didn't he would think nothing less of you.

I try to believe that people get what they deserve; what goes around comes around. For this awesome family, this couldn't be further from the truth. His wife certainly does not deserve to be a widow, to raise their children a single mother. His parents certainly do not deserve to lose another child. His boys deserve to grow up knowing their father, learning by example to be the sort of man he was. And my pastor? He deserved to see his boys become men, to grow old and grey with his wife, to tell his grandchildren stories about his own parents when they passed. It seems to me that karma has come up short today. That the joyfulness and serenity this family so sorely earned somehow got lost on the way, tied up in red tape and arrived too late. My pastor was not the sort of man who would want anyone to be angry with God at his passing. And yet I can't help but be so confused by this. The why is suffocating. Why, WHY? My only hope is that karma will pull through, that because what they earned was so tragically late, that it will be ten, hundreds, thousands-fold.

Cancer Sucks.

No Euphemisms here!

Consider that your warning.


A few days ago The Queen of Fucking Everything, Crissy, had a little contest. I didn't win but I shared the cake that my aunt got for my mother's birthday and it went over just like a cake that says fuck should. That is, with much adoration.

In my family, we have a special love for the "F" word and we don't believe in being stingy about using it. We aren't stingy about any curse words really. Douche has practically become a term of endearment. Tack something on to the end of it and you've got yourself something really special. There're the regulars of course Douche-Bag, Douche-Nozzle, Douche-Cunt etc. But then there're the fun ones like Douche-Ranger, Douche-Canoe, Captain-Douchey-Cuntlips-McDoucherson. Not really on that last one, I just got a little excited.

Anywhos. Fuck has always had a special place in our family but it wasn't until this past Christmas that it became the out and out theme for our celebrations. It started when my mother told her boyfriend "Your present's in the bag in the floor in the other room. I didn't wrap it." She didn't mean it to sound as bad as it did (I think), but nonetheless it sounded pretty bitchy. My response was "Jeez, Merry Fucking Christmas..." and the angels sang. We started throwing fuck in anywhere and everywhere we could

Mom: "Pass me the fucking potatoes."
Me: :while passing them:"Fuck you, Bitch get the fucking potatoes yourself."
Mom: "Shut the fuck up, Ya Douche!"

It was like a game to see who could be more appallingly vulgar and we all won with flying colors. One might think this would lead the fights and drama but shockingly it was one of the least dramatic holidays we've had. My theory is that Fuck just needs to be said, and if you don't say it happily then you're going to wind up saying angrily.

Needless to say, once the gates were opened there was no going back and the Happy Fucking Holiday has spilled over into the rest of the year. My Aunt totally won this year for my mom's birthday. You could say she "Out-Fucked" us all.

She bribed (literally) the little italian lady at the bakery into writing this on my mom's cake.



Gave her her gift in this bag.


And gave her this card.




So yeah, she won that round but I'm gonna bring the heat for her birthday this summer.

And since it's come to my attention that not everyone has seen this, here you go. Watch it, learn it, take it to heart.





This post is long, but it's full of FUCK - So who cares?!