Mattress Mayhem

We bought a new mattress set and it's not going well. The title isn't actually fair, the mattress itself caused a least amount of mayhem. The real issue, the bane of my new bed existance is the mother loving box spring.

The stupid box spring won't fit up the stairs to the third floor, where my bedroom is. So we tried the easy stuff like moving the 500lb book case and then we realized it wasn't happening. So we admitted defeat and called to see how much it would be to exchange the queen box spring for a twin split. Oh sure the Macy's people said, no problem! Lets see you bought the set on sale for just under $400 and it's not on sale any more so a twin split costs just $887! Plus a delivery fee of course.

Cue a prompt hanging up of the phone and the engineering minds, of which there are many, in the house going into overdrive. I immediately went to the trusty interwebs and found lots of instructions on how to cut a box spring in half, fold it, move it and reinforce it back to normal.

Perfect! Nay, nay said the engineering minds.

Oh? So what shall we do then? Their two best options were to take out the door frame and chop up a wall OR cut a door sized hole in the back of the house on the third floor which would then be covered in plastic and dealt with God only knows when. Did I mention it was after 9pm, below freezing and snowing? And chopping a giant hole in the side of the house was a viable option.

At this point I said - Hey! Lets go buy some plywood and we can put that down on the frame and deal with this tomorrow? NAY! How about we have my uncle build a platform bed and we can sell the still wrapped in plastic box spring on craigslist? NAY!

Since it was dark, and I'm fairly sure this was the only factor here, they decided to forego chopping a giant hole in the side of the house.

In the end, despite their best attempts at chopping the house to bits, the box spring never made it up those stairs last night.

Instead I ended up with this.



And when I tried to put the sheets on I realized the label said something I hadn't seen before.



600 thread count egyptian cotton? Nothing wrong with that. It's the words below it that caused the trouble. The ones that tell me that I could fit my mattress and box spring in the sheet and still have 4 inches of room left over. Do people really have 20" thick mattresses?

And in the end I didn't even end up sleeping on my nice new mattress on the floor because when we took it out of the plastic, my nice new mattress smelled like a bunch of not so nice chemicals and instantly gave me a headache.

So in the end I had this.


A chunk out of the wall...


A missing door frame...


And sleeping in a bunch of blankets on my living room floor.

Which was, pathetically, my husband and I agree, more comfortable than my old mattress. And now this morning, we are in the process of taking apart the box spring to fit it up the stairs. Sound like a familiar plan?

And while I realize that this voids the warranty, since the mattress would essentially have to come alive and murder you in your sleep for it to be covered anyway, I'm not too concerned.

I Needs Them!!

I was so excited when I saw these pop up in my Google Reader.



My excitement was short lived though because the Urban Outfitters Page that has them won't work.

I'm not giving up yet though. If anyone needs these ornaments it's my family!

A Holly Jolly Christmas

We went very Martha for our Christmas decorations this year. Not only did we make them ourselves, my MIL and I actually cut all the holly we used off the bushes in our backyard.

So now we can feel superior for not only being crafty but for being green too. ;)

SIL made a wreath for the back door. We left it on the inside so we could see it :D


MIL made a wreath for the front door.



I made a ...swag? thing? for over the windows in the kitchen.


And MIL and I collaborated to make another swag-thing for over the doorway to the living room.



So there you go, my crafty contribution to the holidays!

Things I learned this weekend

1. If you eat crap all weekend, you will feel like crap by Monday. The feeling may be proportional to the amount of crap eaten.

2. Doritos with Cream Cheese doesn't become not-crap just because you used Neufchatel.

3. Things generally aren't as delicious as you remember them being when you were a kid. See above.

4. Using older kids to entertain and occupy younger kids is full of win.

5. Three kids with a 5 year age gap each is just about perfect for this.

6. Hiding presents at the back of the tree doesn't work. The 2 Year old will simply climb under the tree.

7. When someone in your household asks you to keep a few of those Oreo truffles rather than sending them all to work with your husband, say no. Or say yes and do it anyway. Otherwise they will taunt you from the cake dish.

8. When it comes to leftover Konditor Meister cake, this too will taunt you. And there is no way to get your brain on board that eating it will only make that crap feeling worse.

9. If you cram 20ish people into your first floor and cook all day, it actually gets warm! However, this only makes it feel colder the next day.

10. Life gets boring when the kids and everyone leaves. Luckily, this will only last until this weekend. :D

Like a Chicken with her head cut off

I've been home during the day lately. This should be awesome but it just leaves me overwhelmed instead. I feel like there's tons of stuff I should be doing but I don't actually know what to do.

I've got a (group) interview on Thursday with jetBlue. I would absolutely love to get this job and it's stressing me out beyond belief. What do I say, what do I not say, do I have anything to wear now that I've dropped almost 40lbs? I need to get my nails done so I don't look like a raggamuffun. I need to get my eyebrows done so I don't look like a troll. I need to find something to wear that doesn't make me look like A. I'm playing dress-up in my mommy's clothes or B. I've just crawled out of the buy by the pound pile at the Garment District.

So long story short, I've been feeling overwhelmed, more than a little useless and panicking about getting this job. FUN!

In the midst of this, I'm trying to be upbeat about the holidays. I'm excited for Christmas but I feel like I just want it to be here already. There's too much prep and fluff before the actual fun happens. And I can't help but feel as though I'm putting to many of my eggs into the "Yay- Christmas!!" basket and I'm going to end up being really disappointed come the 26th. So for now I'm just trying to keep my head up and think positively. Everything is going to be great! Right? RIGHT. Maybe.

Well that was a fun post. How about some Pictures!?


This kitty keeps me sane. Or alternately drives me crazy.


This (I think) is a juvenile red tailed hawk that has been hanging out in our neighbors back yard. I think he's scanning their back wall for rats and mice.


This was taken on the ferry from Vermont to New York as Ben and I were driving to the farm this summer. It was warm and we had not only a long weekend away ahead of us, but the next 48 hours of that to ourselves. It was lovely.

Thanks!

I'm Thankful for my family schlepping over to Dorchester to humor my Martha Stewart wannabe Thanksgiving.



I'm Thankful for having a mom who actually taught me how to cook and throw a holiday.

I'm Thankful for my cousins who keep me having fun and hone my parenting skills.

I'm Thankful for my Grandparents, because even though they are "faux", they are unquestionably mine and they are the best.

I'm Thankful for Fuck Holidays. (and all year round)

I'm Thankful for my found kitty who follows me around and loves me even when I don't give her turkey. Also, for the fact that she lovingly endures being repeatedly poked in the nose by a two year old.



I'm Thankful for P Dub's turkey brine, which I used as the base for a kick-ass turkey.


I'm Thankful for wonderful bloggers that I totally love.

And I'm Thankful for anyone who actually still reads this even though I'm a slacker!

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

'Scuses 'scuses

I haven't written anything in forever and if you read the last post you'll know why.

But anyway, since I updated I've continued busting my ass for UPS and took a week off to go to the Happiest Place on Earth!

And it was awesome.

Only it was TOO awesome. It was super warm and full of delicious food and family and chatting it up with Disney characters and the BAM I'm on a plane back to Boston and I'm being sneezed on and woken up by a woman laughing like PeeWee Herman and then it's so cold and I'm back at UPS at 3 am and what the hell happened?!

Transitioning back to reality isn't so much fun, you guys.

But I'm getting back into real life kicking and screaming with my head up, because there's no other choice. I'm mature and grown up like that.

And when my brother and sister in law get around to editing any of the photos they took, I'll share some.
Only that might be a while because they're all sick.

Which is a reminder that as much as real life sucks, it could be worse.