So, it turns out I'm a terrible person!

I never thought it would be easy living with my In-Laws.

I also never thought it would make me so cray-cray.

I grew up in a house full of people so living in another house full of people shouldn't be so bad, right?
Turns out, not so much.

I love Ben's family, honestly I do. I'm very very lucky with the people that were brought into my family when I married him. I just don't love living with them.

To be fair, my own mother and I didn't live together very well. Our relationship improved a lot when we had our own spaces.

I'm not sure what it is about living where I am now that's driving me so crazy but something is. I have a hard time mentioning it to most people because it sounds like I'm bashing my In-Laws and I don't want that. They're great people and I'm truly grateful for everything they are doing for us.

But even loving them and being crazy thankful isn't stopping me from losing my mind. I think part of the problem right now is being home too much. Which is why I'm getting a job. Being home the greater majority of 24/7 with the same two women will drive anyone bananas I think. Even if we don't interact all the time, it's just too much time around people.

The habits are different, their entire family culture is different and it's beginning to wear. And like anything in the past, my time with my own family gets glossed over, the bad times hidden away and suddenly it seems like such a better option.
Then I remember the screaming matches and laugh at my own stupidity.

I think I just don't do well living with other adults. I know part of this is not having my own space. Yes I have my bedroom but that's really just Ben's room, not much about it has changed since he moved in there as a kid. And technically I have the back room, my old bedroom, but right now thats just our storage room and guest room. I can't do much to it to make it my own and even if I did it would have to be open to guests.

Which brings up another thing I knew about myself but didn't really. I'm an only child. I have a touch of only child syndrome.
I didn't think I really did but I guess I do. I don't like sharing my stuff. Or rather I don't like giving out open license to share my stuff. I don't like that my helmet is the nicest one in the garage so it gets used whenever someone wants without asking me. I don't like that my car gets used without asking me. And my stuff includes my plans and whatever it is I'm doing at this very moment. I don't want to every day explain whats happening when I leave the house and who I'm going with and when I walk in the house talk about how it was and if I liked it and what it was like - Oh my god enough! If I want to share, I'll share. I know you're curious but for the love of god the constant game of 20 questions is killing me. I realize that this is part of being in a family but I'm having control issues.

I don't like that I'm having issues with this, it makes me feel crappy. Ben's family are good people, we can't be annoyed with good people right?

But I am and I need to find a way of dealing with it because I'm far to practical for anything else. The fact is, living here is saving us a lot of money that would otherwise be lost to rent and bills. When we come out of this, we'll have (hopefully, if things go right) a big down payment and be able to start things off smoothly. I know these things and I'm very attached to these things. To write huge checks out every month knowing that I could be living mostly cost free would kill me worse than living here does.

Every now and then though I just need to vent.

You're a Kitty!!

There are so many things I need to talk about. The fact that I'm making changes about what I'm eating and losing weight (and fighting myself every step of the way), the awesome time I had last weekend, how I'm trying to get a job and may or may not have had a terrible interview at 5am this morning and I'm going to Disney in 29 days, 20 hours, 48 minutes and 42-ish seconds (but who's counting!?)

But all I can focus on right now is this little love muffin.

She showed up on the back porch this morning and hasn't left. And as you can see, she's made herself quite comfortable. And I love her. She obviously belongs to someone, or at least she did. She has a flea collar and is so friendly. Like, - "Oh mah god pet me is that another hand? Why isn't it petting me? Can I sit on your lap? Thanks! Actually this isn't close enough *snugglesnuggle* Closer! Let me turn to a puddle of mush in your lap so I can be as close as possible! Moar Pettings!"- friendly.

The world is obviously tormenting me. I've been wanting a nice lovey kitty for so long. I tell Ben all the time "I just want a nice cat!" Even though we have two cats, niether of them is super lovey. Well Coquetita is, but in a different way. She's so not a lap cat she just wants her head scratched always. But niether of them is what I would consider a people cat. Butterscotch likes mom and he'll use other people when she's not around but I don't think he's particularly friendly.

But this little girl! She's all about being with you, or on you or on what your doing and she isn't so pushy that she won't go away but if you're willing to give her attention she is more than willing to accept it.

And I love her. She's shoft and fluffy and I want her.

And I can't have her.
Even if she didn't already have a home, the other two cats are territorial and mean.

But I still love her.

And I still want her.

And this is why I need my own house.


P.S. If you don't get the reference in the title, go here. It's funny because it's true. Hover over the comic for extra funny :)

Also, I wrote most of this post a few days ago. Bella- short for Bellatrix because this lovey kitty is secretly evil, and because she's so damn pretty- is still coming around and things may be looking up for me. Here's hoping she ends up being mine! She'd be an answered prayer for sure :)

Madi Diaz & The Civil Wars

I must say, seeing live music - fantastic live music, is the best way to spend a wednesday night ever. It makes it even better if one of the people singing that live music is a friend of yours who you haven't seen in ages.

The night started of rather inauspicious. I almost ended up going by myself but my Aunt Lindsay pulled through at the final hour. So we started of a tad late but made good time into Cambridge. The problem came when we finally made it the right block on Mass Ave and for the life of us couldn't figure out where the club was. We were sure it was an even number address and we were sure it must be right and front of us so we parked and walked down the street. We made it a bit before we just asked someone for directions, at which point they raised an eyebrow at us and pointed directly across the street to a building with a giant lizard on it.

Did I mention they played at the Lizard Lounge? Yeah. GO us!

So anyway, even though we were late we got in before the Civil Wars started their set. And when they began I was blown away. I knew anyone Madi was touring with would be decent at least so I didn't bother checking them out before hand. So it was a more than pleasant surprise when they began singing and not only were they better than decent, they were amazing. Apparently, their song Poison and Wine was on Grey's Anatomy and it doesn't surprise me because it's great, and it's deep.

As great as they were though, I was bouncing inside for Madi to take the floor. Lindsay and I both worked with Madi several years ago at the Pour House in Boston. Back then I managed to finagle a copy of her demo and haven't stopped listening to her since. I've never been able to catch one of her shows though until tonight. So despite the fact that I'm leaving in a few hours for a trip to the Adirondacks, there was no way I was missing this show. And thank goodness because seeing her live cemented it.

I fucking love Madi Diaz.

I wish I could buy out the whole club and make all my friends and family come and watch her so I can fangirl over her and they'll know what I mean. I mean even the Russian Judge would give her at least a 9.5. She's awesome. Not only does she crank out beautiful tunes like nobody's business, she's a total babe and she's got a kickass personality. She's real and she's amazing and I fucking love her. Period.

Now go listen to her shit and tell me you love it.

You may want to lie to me if you're crazy and don't, because I'll more than likely just try to school you on why you're crazy and wrong. :D

Apple and Oranges

I have an excuse I swear!

It's even a good excuse. My computer has been out of commission all week.

I woke up Monday morning to it showing no signs of life. At. All.

Panic ensued would have ensued if I hadn't been covered by AppleCare.

Instead I strutted down to the Apple store, pushed my way past the throngs of hooligans playing bejeweled on the iPods and distraught old ladies wondering why the laptop they haven't charged in weeks won't turn on and told a "genius" what was up.They took it in and gave it to me the next day wherein it proceeded to work perfectly until I noticed it wasn't. Which was the next morning.

So then I got a bit annoyed because when I get my computer back from being "fixed" all my lights should work and it shouldn't be overheating, right? Right.

Luckily, the genius agreed with me and told me that my lights hadn't been hooked up properly and that he was very sorry but if the person who "fixed" it hadn't remembered to reattach the lights then they might not have done the not-overheating-the-motherboard-thingy right either and would I mind very much if they kept it overnight to take it apart again and make sure it really was fixed? He then told us, and this is key, to "call if you haven't heard from us tomorrow, I'll make sure this gets looked at tonight."

So once again I left my lifeline at the genius bar and walked shakily all the way home, unaware of anything but the absence of my computer back to my car where Ben proceeded to drive me home and I went to bed early because I was bored.

We hadn't heard anything by 1pm so we called to see what was up and then Apple let me down. When we asked about our computer, the rudey, 'tudey (and not in the fresh and fruity delicious IHOP way) guy on the phone told us "your computer hasn't even been looked at yet. There are 20 computers in front of you. We'll call you when it's ready." Hold up, did I just hear you right?Is this PC pretending to be Mac? The cute hipster dude is gonna walk out any second now right? What? This is really Apple? My love, my life, provider of all things fun and friendly? You guys are the ones who effed it up this time. I know I may have had you guys fix my computer before from toddlers stepping on it and my using it in bed with the fans all smothered by blankets but this time wasn't my fault!

So Ben and I were all riled up and we went to the mall to yell at someone in person. By the time we reached the mall Ben wasn't angry anymore and started to politely ask about our computer. But I was still pissed and so of course cut him off letting the very large, nice and now very confused man know, in a calm but obviously very annoyed manner, exactly why they were wrong in having 20 computers in front of us, unless of course they had also managed to screw up those 20 before they wreaked havoc on ours. Nice man smiled and nodded and took all my very calm but annoyed ranting and then went to go check on my computer. After a few minutes he came back out and told me they were waiting for a new fan and it should be done today, tomorrow at the very latest.

...

Oh. Ok. Why couldn't Rudy McGrumpyphoneanswerer just say that? I then managed to further confuse large, nice man by Smiling and thanking him and being perfectly fine with that answer when he obviously expected to have to deal with some wrath.

And I got my computer back today. They replaced the fan and the logicboard and everyone was wonderful and nice in their blue shirts just like it should be. And despite what people may say about this being a post against Apple and their products, this is exactly why I buy Apple. Because these are computers. They are going to break, and when they do I want to be able to run to the mall and cry at someone who will take it and tell me it'll be all better and give it back to me within a few days even when they have to replace the motherboard and the fan and whatever else. And thanks to AppleCare I didn't have to pay for it. Yes, I paid for it when I bought the computer but with this repair alone it paid for itself over 5 times. I don't expect electronics not to break, but I expect good service when they do. And yes the guy on the phone was a jerk but you know what? I was shocked by it. I would have not have been at all shocked by that sort of treatment had I been dealing with Best Buy or Dell Techs or whoever else. I don't have to call and talk to some bored Indian half a world away who'l have to repeat everything twice and will ask me to restart my computer and see if it helps. Yeah thanks, I tried that. I can deal with people who are 15 minutes away and 9 times out of 10 I'll walk away smiling.

So that's my excuse, which turned into a rant, which turned into a rave for Apple products. I'm a fangirl, what can I say.

And at some point I really will put those pictures to use and write the post I've been planning. Probably.

Pictures make everything better. Or they did until now.

I was doing so well! I had the blogging thing down and then- Boom! I missed a few days, got discouraged and didn't ever want to come back. But that's stupid so here, look at some pictures while I spend the next day or two getting together my next post. I took pictures specifically for it and everything, it might even be worth reading :D

Until then let's ignore the fact that I haven't posted in weeks and look at some pictures!

I took this at night near Ft, Sewall in Marblehead.Night shots are cool! Right? Right?!


The aftermath of the July 4th fireworks in Winthrop. They unsurprisingly lit the park on fire. It's practically tradition.


A suitably dramatic picture I took of Davey Havok of AFI at a show in RI. They are so good in concert.


I definitely may or may not have a Sonic "problem"


Let this be a lesson. Always check the freezer before buying more Ice Cream! Even when you're feeding 14 people.


These are tiny little grapes! Champagne grapes. They're TINY!


Now aren't you glad I posted? Your life feels more complete now that you've seen these pictures doesn't it? you're a changed person now that you've seen tiny grapes, a flamboyant rock star and know that I visit Sonic far too much.

I often have that sort of enlightening effect on people.



I also tend to get this look whenever I say that.

Sunday Snippets (a day late!)

* We got a new washing machine this week because the other one started spilling water all over the floor. Our experience getting it delivered was horrible but the new machine is glorious. It spins the clothes so well that even though we don't have a new dryer, the clothes dry in far less time than they used to.

The washer is a happy little washer and sings a short little song when you turn it on and a longer song to let you know when your load is done.

YouTube saved me from having to record that little ditty myself!

*My family makes fun of me and my husband because we don't think twice about long roadtrips. They like to say we'd drive hours for a burger just to turn around and come back and they're probably right. We drove to albany and back on thursday to pick up my SIL and niece so they could be here a day earlier.


It was totally worth it because this little girl is better than a burger and when you combine her with a third trip (in three days) to the scooper bowl, that's about as good as it gets!

* I don't mind that I went to the scooperbowl and paid for 3 days because it goes to the Jimmy Fund and Cancer sucks. And Ciao Bella was there.

*If you like "that's what she said" then you'll enjoy this. Alfred Hitchcock was so before his time!

*In preparation for the new washer, SIL and I cleaned out and repainted the laundry area and the sorted through plethora of cleaning bottles and aparatus that lined the shelves. In doing so, in the far back we found these.


There were more, but these were the funniest I thought.
Any guesses on what year these were from? I'm curious to see how your guesses match up with ours!

Honoring Life

The past few weeks have been crazy. The proverbial roller coaster of ups and downs. Since my last post I've attended two different funerals. The first was for my pastor. The second was for my Great Aunt. Both of these depressing events were sandwiched between wonderful, fun experiences. The night before my pastor's funeral, I went to a rock concert with two friends and we had a great time and made some great memories. The days after were spent happily again, cooking, hanging out, celebrating the holiday and enjoying life. This saturday my Aunt passed away somewhat suddenly, also from cancer. Her services were yesterday and today and yesterday and today I went to the Scooper Bowl on Boston City Hall Plaza.

I spent a lot of time thinking about whether or not it was appropriate to do these things and came to one conclusion, they would have wanted me to. At the very least, I doubt either of them would have minded and here's why. Both my pastor and my aunt were wonderful people. They were devoted and kind people and as much as they were different, they shared a lot of the same important traits. They were both so invested in their churches. They were both kind people, the sort of person that makes you feel a little better when you talk to them. But what they really shared was their sense of community and their importance in relationships. After my pastor's funeral, I felt like crawling into bed and not getting out until things made sense again. But I realized that in doing that I wasn't respecting my pastor. He was all about doing things together and building meaningful relationships, he would not have wanted me to skip the opportunities for that for any reason. My Aunt too emphasized relationships with her family and although I didn't know her as well as I would have liked, I know enough to know that, as a teacher herself, she would not have begrudged me chaperoning a group of kids to celebrate their moving up or getting together with a close friend I have been missing.

Both my pastor and aunt were, to me, good people. They put what really mattered first and that was always people. I have no doubt that world is a sadder place without their smiles and love to brighten it, but I know that as we move forward, that reflecting on the way that they lived their lives and trying to emulate that goodness and community building is a far better way to respect their memories than holing ourselves up and stewing over the unfairness of it all.

And another thing, the Scooper Bowl benefits the Jimmy Fund and I'm up for anything that tries to beat down cancer. I've had more than enough of it taking people I care about.